Ministering to Those Who Grieve During the Holidays

Compassionate care in a season of mixed emotions

For many, December is filled with lights, gatherings, and joyful expectation. But for others—especially those carrying grief—the season can be tender, heavy, or even painful. As clergy and ministry leaders, we are often called to walk with people through these shadows while carrying our own.

Understanding Holiday Grief

Grief does not follow the calendar. It doesn’t pause for Christmas. In fact, the season’s emphasis on togetherness can heighten the ache of absence. Congregants may feel pressured to “be cheerful,” even as their spirits are weighed down.

Recognizing this tension helps clergy create space where grief is honored rather than avoided.

Pastoral Practices of Care

• Name grief aloud in worship. A simple acknowledgment—“For some of us, this season brings sorrow”—can validate hidden pain.

• Offer a Blue Christmas or Longest Night service. These contemplative services minister deeply to those hurting.

• Encourage small rituals at home: lighting a candle for the deceased, writing their name on an ornament, or saying a prayer of remembrance.

• Check in personally with those who’ve experienced loss this year. A short call can lift an enormous weight.

Remember Your Own Grief

Pastors are not immune to loss. Tend your heart gently. Allow space for your own memories. Seek support from colleagues, counselors, or spiritual directors when needed.

This season, may your ministry hold sacred space for both joy and sorrow—and the God who meets us in all of it.